One Time I Found a Seal Carcass and it Still Wasn't as Traumatizing as This

A glimpse of my sea related psychological scarring.

Tidepooling and almost stepping on an anemone came close though.

The Moderately Grownup Girl and the Sea

For me, the ocean is a lovely thing to be adjacent to or even briefly submerged in.  However, once you get to a depth deeper than you are long, the ocean and I stop being friends.  The ocean is, in fact, THE WORST.  

Imagine you are on a boat/catamaran/other ungodly water vehicle.  You are seemingly floating along a glass pool filled with mystery and the sun.  The sea breezes fill your lungs with possibility and freedom.  Peace sweeps over you as you contemplate the magic of existence and the sea.  

THIS IS AN ILLUSION.  YOU ARE FLOATING ON AN ALIEN WORLD.  FILLED WITH THINGS THAT ACTIVELY WANT TO EAT/POISON/MAIM YOU.  Almost nothing sleeps in the ocean because IF YOU SLEEP, YOU DIE.  IT'S A HORRIBLE, BARBARIC DEN OF EVIL.  

Basically, if you thought about the ocean like you would an alien world (which you should, because it is), it's a place where the "air" is unbreathable, everything including CRAZY SUPER PREDATORS AND POISON DISPENSERS all fly through the air, and God forbid you go to the bottom.  THE PRESSURE WILL KILL YOU and even if it didn't you'd have nightmares forever because it's cray down there.  Would you want to go there? 

MAYBE, IF YOU HATE YOURSELF.  

Not only do the *things* in the ocean want to eat/poison/maim you, but the ACTUAL OCEAN IS A GIANT DEATH MACHINE.  Drowning sounds like no fun, guys.  No fun at all.  And it's basically a risk at. all. times.  The ocean is just there, surrounding you, going, 

"Hey.  Hey.  I COULD KILL YOU.  I HOPE YOUR EQUIPMENT HAS BEEN INSPECTED." 

"STOP YELLING AT ME, OCEAN, I DON'T WANT TO GO IN YOU ANYWAY."

So yeah, the ocean sucks.  It's the worst.

...

But, it's also the best.  Sigh.  That's where the "sigh" in "SciPsySigh" comes in, I guess.  My prejudice against the ocean notwithstanding, there are some things about the ocean that are pretty rad.  I'll tell you about them in a bit, but for now I hope you remain in CONSTANT FEAR.  THE OCEAN IS OUT TO GET YOU.  0_0